Letter from Prison

letter prison

Hello my innocent, sinless and free friends,

I am innocent and sinless as much as you, too. And I am a child who deserves freedom as much as you.

Although I am behind the bars, I am growing just like you.

Maybe I am far away from my dad. I cannot hear his voice. I miss his scent. Maybe I am far away from my brother and sister. I cannot play and have fun with them. Maybe I am suffering lack of joy of a warm home, but I am still growing.

Maybe I am far away my aunts, uncles, grandparents and their loves, I am growing like you.

I cannot go to the playground with my mom and dad. I cannot choose the chocolate that I want in a market. I cannot watch the cartoon that I choose and I cannot drink my milk from my own feeding bottle, but I am also growing.

Maybe I don’t have varied of toys, clothes and shoes, but I am growing. Believe it or not but I can dream like you, too. I am dreaming to go to the school. I am dreaming to being a doctor and help to the people, I am dreaming to being a police and stop the criminals. I am dreaming to being a soldier and protect my country. Or I can picture the days that i become a pilot and flying in the blue sky like free birds.

Actually, I want simple things. I am just dreaming to swimming in a sea, to fishing with my father, to cooking the fishes for family dinner.

Unfortunately I cannot dream only one thing. I cannot dream to forgive the people who stayed silent when hundreds of kids growing in prison like me. I cannot dream to forgive mothers and fathers who act as if they are unaware of happenings and who keep living happily as if nothing happened. Believe me I am pushing myself to dream to forgive them but somehow I remember the things that I have been through behind the bars.

Do you wonder what I have been through? I can tell some of them to you.

It has been sixteen months that I came to here. My father had jailed long before me and my mom. I, my mom, my brother and my sister were left behind. We cried for him for days. Unfortunately he didn’t come back to the home. My mother was trying to take care of us, in the mean time she was struggling to get our fathers freedom back but…

There was no justice for to set him free. Even so, my mum tried to do her best. Until one morning police officers knocked our door again, this time for my mother.  They took her away like our father.

Since that day, as a two years old child, I have been thinking, what could a doctor and a teacher have done so both of them are taken away from us? I could find the answer yet.

When police came to take my mother, she said “my baby is too young, so I want to take him with me.” She asked our neighbor to take care of my brother and sister and we went with the officers. it has been sixteen months since that day.

At the beginning it was really hard to get used to it. My mother’s sorrow was affecting me. I met with formulas early because of prison conditions. Sometimes I couldn’t find even formula. Cell mates of my mother also worried about me but they don’t have more than worrying to do. I wish, being lack of breast feeding would be my only problem.  Maybe this was easiest one that I have been through.

The cell we are living has 12 people capacity but we are 41, including me. Sometimes I feel as if I suffocate. Especially in the cleaning day of cell my throat and my eyes hurts because of dust.

I couldn’t forget the hardness of hot days in summer. My body was full of wounds. I was sick. The doctor didn’t send me to a hospital and said I will have treatment in prison. I was surprised. I wondered whether the doctor would do the same for his child.

My poor mom, spent whole summer with ointments and creams to heal my wounds. One night I noticed that the hands which are creaming my body were not my mother’s hands. During five days my mother was not around and her friends were taking caring of my wounds. After a while I learned why she left me. She had had heart attack and she had been in intensive care for five days.

Of course human heart has limits. Her heart couldn’t stand to be apart with her husband and her kids, to being in jail with me and trying to survive and to seeing her baby in wounds.

Morning and night attendance of prisoners, waking up with the sounds of truncheons hitting to the berths… are these what a baby deserved? Just a question for the people still with conscious…

Winter was also hard as much as summer was. Cold weather was harder than hot. My mother’s body temperature was not enough to heat me up. Her friends tried to warm me up but unfortunately it was not enough, too. Finally I got cold and I got pneumonia. The doctor didn’t send me to a hospital again. I was treated in prison.

Winter has gone just as summer gone. But I don’t know when the winter in the hearts of people will be gone. Only thing that I know is that I and hundreds of kids in prison are innocent just like you.

I am calling o you innocent kids like me, don’t be heartless and unfair like your parents be. Be conscientious, fair, brave and just. I am one of the hundreds of baby in prison. All babies are innocent and deserve freedom.

From behind the bars, to the children of world…

This article originally appeared in Magduriyetler.com


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